Lebaran ini bukan main sedihnya... Gak tau kenapa.. atau gue kena angin topan mana... 2 hari sebelum 1 Syawal gue nangis sejadi-jadinya... sampe' Choy juga bingung liatnya... Diem dikit, tiba-tiba nangis... Yang paling aneh.. waktu gue sama Choy abis keluar makan... sehari sebelum takbiran.. gue langsung masuk kamar, ngecuekin Choy yang ada di luar... dan gue nangis sejadi-sejadinya...
Setelah Choy pulang, gue duduk lagi di kamar, agak bingung sama diri sendiri .. kenapa kok gue nangis ya? Apa yang gue tangisin? Dan sepertinya gue tau ...
Ini akan menjadi lebaran terakhir gue melajang... Dan tahun ini entah kenapa, gue ngerasa sendirian banget.. Padahal tahun-tahun lalu juga gitu... Setelah Papa menikah lagi (bosen gak sih lo kalo gue crita ini) tentunya istrinya yang diutamakan.. dan gue mengerti itu, sungguh. Jadi mereka tiap tahun akan pergi ke Pati - Jawa Tengah, lalu kakak gue akan pergi ke luar kota entah ke mana... dan gue akan di rumah sendiri. Tiap tahun juga seperti itu ... Kenapa tahun ini gue jadi nangis? Mungkin karena i know that i am not going to be in this family anymore next year... i know that i will have another family to come to next year... and sometimes it frightens me. Seeing me with another family...
Sometimes I get the feeling that I've been abandoned, but perhaps it was me who's abandoned them. I often feel sorry for my self .. and other times I even blame God for taking away people that I love most... I know it's not right, who am I to blame God? But I do. Makes me feel sad when you find out that when you came home you see nothing but all the things at your home, no warmness, no family, no one at all. No Mum, No Dad to talk to, even my sis is busy with her self. I felt that I can't communicate with them, I felt that I am not a part of this family.. Perhaps that's the one what makes me cry the whole day yesterday. And yet, knowing that this is going to change next year, that I will have a husband to talk to, I will have a new family to look after.. it's just shivering.
Well, for what ever it cause, Eid is always been beautiful... It still Is... for all the readers that came to my blog, this is the right moment to say Forgive me, for what I have done, for what I might have said in this blog that might hurt your feelings.
Setelah Choy pulang, gue duduk lagi di kamar, agak bingung sama diri sendiri .. kenapa kok gue nangis ya? Apa yang gue tangisin? Dan sepertinya gue tau ...
Ini akan menjadi lebaran terakhir gue melajang... Dan tahun ini entah kenapa, gue ngerasa sendirian banget.. Padahal tahun-tahun lalu juga gitu... Setelah Papa menikah lagi (bosen gak sih lo kalo gue crita ini) tentunya istrinya yang diutamakan.. dan gue mengerti itu, sungguh. Jadi mereka tiap tahun akan pergi ke Pati - Jawa Tengah, lalu kakak gue akan pergi ke luar kota entah ke mana... dan gue akan di rumah sendiri. Tiap tahun juga seperti itu ... Kenapa tahun ini gue jadi nangis? Mungkin karena i know that i am not going to be in this family anymore next year... i know that i will have another family to come to next year... and sometimes it frightens me. Seeing me with another family...
Sometimes I get the feeling that I've been abandoned, but perhaps it was me who's abandoned them. I often feel sorry for my self .. and other times I even blame God for taking away people that I love most... I know it's not right, who am I to blame God? But I do. Makes me feel sad when you find out that when you came home you see nothing but all the things at your home, no warmness, no family, no one at all. No Mum, No Dad to talk to, even my sis is busy with her self. I felt that I can't communicate with them, I felt that I am not a part of this family.. Perhaps that's the one what makes me cry the whole day yesterday. And yet, knowing that this is going to change next year, that I will have a husband to talk to, I will have a new family to look after.. it's just shivering.
Well, for what ever it cause, Eid is always been beautiful... It still Is... for all the readers that came to my blog, this is the right moment to say Forgive me, for what I have done, for what I might have said in this blog that might hurt your feelings.
Happy Eid Mubarak, Minal Aidin Wal Faidzin....
4 comments:
shock liat nama saya di Gramedia? Maksudnyaaaa....??? :D
Happy Idul Fitri ya, sist :D *peyuk*
Ih... itu di novel tulisan-tulisan pendek blogger :P hiwhaihaiha.. norak lu ah.... *maap lahir batin ye..*
Huehweuhweuhweu.... kangen lu ah :p
Post a Comment